When your spouse's verbal abuse or violence continues

If you are in danger now, act in the order below. Evidence comes after you are safe.

• If you are in danger, call 112 (police) right away. The police will stop the violence on the spot and separate the offender, and if you wish, take you to a counseling center, shelter or hospital.
• If you are injured, tell the hospital plainly that your spouse hit you and get a medical certificate. Photograph your injuries so the date is visible.
• Take screenshots of abusive messages showing the conversation before and after, and back up recordings of calls or conversations you took part in, in their original form, somewhere else.
• Keep the things you would need if you had to leave in a hurry, such as ID, bankbooks, a phone charger and your children's medicine, together in one place.

• Hitting back or swearing back (this can turn into a claim that you assaulted each other)
• Secretly looking at your spouse's phone or logging into their accounts
• Leaving the children behind without a word. If circumstances forced you to, leave a message explaining why.
• Getting back together after receiving a written pledge or apology and deleting the records up to then. Pledges and apology messages are also evidence, so keep them.

Police who receive a report take emergency measures (응급조치) on the spot to stop the violence and separate you, and if there is a high risk of further violence, they can use emergency temporary measures (긴급임시조치) to remove the offender from the home or block contact. The victim can ask the police to apply for temporary measures (임시조치) from the court (Act on Special Cases Concerning the Punishment of Domestic Violence Crimes (가정폭력범죄의 처벌 등에 관한 특례법) Articles 5, 8 and 8-2). Temporary measures include removal from the home, a ban on coming within 100 meters of the home or workplace, and a ban on contact by phone or message.

The victim can also apply directly to the family court for a victim protection order (피해자보호명령). In addition to a restraining order, you can ask for restrictions on the offender's exercise of parental authority and visitation. The period is set at up to 1 year, and with extensions it can last up to 3 years in total (Articles 55-2 and 55-3 of the same Act). Violating a protection order or temporary measure is subject to criminal punishment.

A protection order is a procedure separate from the divorce lawsuit, so you can apply even before filing for divorce. If needed, the court may first issue a temporary protection order before deciding (Article 55-4 of the same Act).

Among the court's temporary measures, removal from the home and restraining orders cannot exceed 2 months, but they can be extended up to twice if needed (Article 29(5) of the same Act).

In a divorce by agreement (협의이혼), you can show that violence makes waiting difficult and have the cooling-off period (숙려기간) shortened or waived (Civil Act (민법) Article 836-2(3)). In a lawsuit, you claim both the ground for divorce of extremely unfair treatment by your spouse and compensation for emotional distress (위자료).

If it is hard to face your spouse in mediation or the family investigation (가사조사), you can ask the court to proceed separately, and during the lawsuit you can also apply for pre-trial measures (사전처분) such as a restraining order or designation of a temporary custodial parent.

If there was violence in front of the children, you can ask for visitation to be restricted or its method changed (Civil Act Article 837-2(3)). If you are worried about your current address becoming known to your spouse, decide first, before filing the complaint, which address to use for receiving court documents.

Verbal abuse can also be a ground for divorce if it was repeated and went on long enough to destroy the marriage. Rather than a single instance of severe swearing, it is important to show a pattern of the same thing repeated over years.

Group KakaoTalk messages by period, and for recordings, note separately the date and the time stamps where the key statements occur. If you also swore during arguments, do not delete it; leave it as it is. Deleting only part creates a new dispute about hiding things.

If threats to cut off living expenses or being thrown out of the house were repeated along with the verbal abuse, write that down too. Financial control and threats are circumstances that show how severe the verbal abuse was.

At Jisan Law, the managing partner consults with you personally, and we decide together in what order to file the application for a protection order, the divorce complaint and applications for pre-trial measures. We also make the necessary requests in mediation and the family investigation so that you do not have to face your spouse.

If your spouse's side asks you to withdraw the complaint or settle, do not answer alone. Jisan Law receives that contact as the victim's representative and negotiates the settlement terms, and if a criminal complaint is needed, we write it and accompany you to the victim interview.

If you are in danger now, call 112 first. Once you have reached a safe place, contact us through the chat on this page.