When you want to claim compensation from the affair partner

From the day you decide to make a claim, there isn't much to do. You just need to keep to the order.

• Confirm the day you found out about the affair, and write the date 3 years later on your calendar.
• Gather KakaoTalk screenshots, photos, card statements and receipts in one folder in date order. It's convenient to download transaction histories as PDFs from your bank and card apps.
• Write down on one page what you know about the affair partner (상간자), such as name, phone number, workplace and car plate number.
• If there is CCTV that will soon be erased, note the date and place, and look into evidence preservation (증거보전) first.
• Write down your current thinking on whether you will divorce or stay married. Which court you file in depends on this.

Before filing, avoid calling the affair partner to confront them or waiting outside their company. It only gives them time to delete chats and prepare to claim they didn't know. Sending a certified letter (내용증명) to their workplace or writing "affair" on the envelope also invites accusations of defamation (명예훼손).

Be careful, too, about putting a large claim amount out of anger. A bigger claim means higher court stamp fees (인지대), and if only part is granted, the plaintiff may have to bear part of the litigation costs (Civil Procedure Act (민사소송법) Article 101).

To hold the affair partner liable, two things must be shown: that there was an unfaithful relationship between your spouse and the affair partner that breached the spouses' duty of fidelity, and that the affair partner knew or could have known your spouse had a family.

Infidelity (부정행위) is not narrowly limited to cases where sex is proven. It is sometimes recognized when conversations like those between lovers, overnight stays together and frequent meetings add up. Conversely, even with plenty of evidence, the claim can fail if the affair partner appears not to have known of the marriage, so you need to gather evidence of their knowledge separately.

So before writing the complaint, it helps to split your material into two bundles: one showing the relationship between the two, and another showing that the affair partner knew your spouse had a family. If the second bundle is empty, that is what must be filled first.

If there is room for a settlement, first send the amount and a deadline by certified letter; if not, file a complaint (소장). If you stay married and claim only against the affair partner, you file in the district court; if you claim together with a divorce, in the family court. If the other person seems likely to hide assets, you can also place a provisional attachment (가압류) on their deposits or salary before the lawsuit.

Once the complaint is served, the defendant files an answer within 30 days. Mediation or hearing dates follow, and the first date is usually set a few months after filing. If the other side does not contest, it can end within a few months; if the facts are hotly disputed, the first instance alone can take over a year. If they still don't pay after judgment, you collect through an asset disclosure order (재산명시) and seizure.

If you stay married and claim only against the affair partner, it proceeds as a civil case in the district court, and the amount tends to be set lower than where the marriage ended in divorce. If the affair partner pays compensation and then seeks reimbursement from your spouse, that money may come out of your household, so it is important to obtain, in mediation or settlement, a condition that they will not exercise the right to reimbursement (구상권).

If you are also considering divorce, you can claim against both your spouse and the affair partner in the family court. The same facts are judged by one court, so you don't have to submit evidence twice. If you haven't made up your mind, you can start with the claim against the affair partner and decide on divorce later. However, keep in mind that a divorce claim on the ground of infidelity cannot be made once 6 months have passed from the day you learned of it or 2 years from the day it happened (Civil Act (민법) Article 841).

Using the material you have gathered, Jisan Law first sorts out what will show the infidelity and what will show knowledge of the marriage. For the gaps, we consider whether they can be filled through court procedures such as evidence preservation or fact inquiries (사실조회), and if you are staying married, we also settle the reimbursement issue in advance. A managing partner handles the consultation personally. We don't hide behind office managers or associate lawyers; we go through the material you bring from the start, together with you. We explain the fees after the consultation, once we have heard the details of the case and the scope of work.

It's fine if your material isn't organized. Send us a message through the chat on this page and start by telling us your situation. You can message us on weekends and public holidays too.