When the affair partner is pregnant or has had a child

If you act on unconfirmed claims, it is hard to correct things later. Write down what you were told along with the date, and don't delete messages from the affair partner.

• Who told you about the pregnancy or birth, and how
• Whether it has been confirmed that your spouse is the father, or it is only the affair partner's word
• Whether the affair partner is married (if so, the child is presumed to be her husband's)
• Whether your spouse intends to acknowledge the child
• Whether the affair partner is demanding money or a divorce

Before the birth, the first step is to confirm the pregnancy and its timing. Things differ depending on whether the timing of the pregnancy matches the period your spouse was seeing her, and whether the affair partner had other partners.

Before the child is born, it is hard to establish paternity legally. The usual course is to confirm it by DNA testing in the process of acknowledgment or a paternity suit after the birth, so don't rush to meet the affair partner's demands in the meantime.

A child born outside marriage has a legal father-child relationship with the biological father once he acknowledges the child (인지) (Civil Act (민법) Article 855). Even if your spouse does not acknowledge the child, the child or the affair partner as the child's legal representative can file a paternity suit (인지청구의 소) (Civil Act Article 863), and the family court can order a DNA test if necessary (Family Litigation Act (가사소송법) Article 29).

Once the child is acknowledged, your spouse must pay child support for that child, and the child becomes an heir with the same rank and the same share as your spouse's other children (Civil Act Articles 1000 and 1009).

Child support for an acknowledged child is shared by both parents, and if they cannot agree on the amount, the family court decides it. Courts often refer to the child support guidelines (양육비 산정기준표), which are based on the parents' incomes and the child's age.

If your spouse pays child support for a child born outside the marriage, it affects your household finances. If you stay married, you need to consider how to absorb this; if you divorce, how to reflect it in property division and living-cost calculations.

A pregnancy or birth outside the marriage can be considered, as a circumstance showing the infidelity was serious, when compensation for emotional distress (위자료) is set. As in other affair cases, how you claim depends on whether you stay married or divorce; if you divorce, you can file in the family court naming both your spouse and the affair partner as defendants.

Even if the affair partner demands a divorce or money because of the pregnancy, you don't need to act according to what she says. This is all the more true if the pregnancy itself has not been confirmed.

Emotional fights over the pregnancy easily leave material that later works against both sides in the affair lawsuit and the child support issue.

• Demanding or pressuring the affair partner to terminate the pregnancy
• Telling people around the affair partner about the pregnancy or birth
• Handing over money in response to an unconfirmed claim of pregnancy
• Secretly obtaining samples from the child to attempt a DNA test

Jisan Law separates confirmed facts from the affair partner's claims, and sets the order for the affair lawsuit, the decision on divorce, and acknowledgment and child support, looking at them all together. If the affair partner's demands or contact come close to threats, we look at how to respond to that too. Issues concerning the child are tied to whether you stay married, so they need not all be decided at once; we deal with the most urgent first, step by step. A managing partner handles the consultation personally.

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