When you decide to reconcile with your spouse during the lawsuit

Even if you've decided to reconcile, leave the lawsuit papers as they are and don't contact the other side first. If they learn of the reconciliation before you've decided how to end the case, it may be harder to agree on terms in mediation.

• What stage the lawsuit is at (before or after the answer is filed, before or after hearings close)
• Whether the affair partner is in a position to claim reimbursement from your spouse
• Whether you have evidence showing that your spouse's relationship with the affair partner has really ended
• If you also filed a divorce lawsuit, what to do with that case

Reconciling does not extinguish your claim against the affair partner. You can claim compensation (위자료) from the affair partner while staying married. If you hastily drop the lawsuit before confirming that the relationship between the two has really ended, it may be hard to bring this matter up again even if they meet again later.

However, if the marriage continues, the harm to it is assessed as less than where it ended in divorce, so compensation may be set lower. If you named the affair partner as a co-defendant in a divorce lawsuit, you also need to decide how to deal with the claim against the affair partner when you withdraw the divorce claim.

If the affair partner pays all the compensation, they can claim reimbursement (구상) from your spouse, who took part in the infidelity, up to your spouse's share. In a reconciled household, part of the money received may end up being paid back out of the household budget.

That is why, when ending the case through mediation or a court settlement, a clause is often included that the affair partner will not exercise the right to reimbursement (구상권) against your spouse. A judgment cannot include such a clause, so if you have reconciled, mediation is well worth considering.

A lawsuit can be withdrawn until the judgment becomes final, but once the defendant has filed a brief or argued at a hearing, the defendant's consent is needed. If there is no objection within 2 weeks of the withdrawal being served, consent is deemed given (Civil Procedure Act (민사소송법) Article 266). If you withdraw after a judgment on the merits, you cannot bring the same lawsuit again (Article 267(2)).

Withdrawal also cancels the interruption of the limitation period that came from filing. Only if you take steps such as refiling within 6 months is the period treated as interrupted from the original filing (Civil Act (민법) Article 170). Rather than withdrawing unconditionally, it is safer to record the terms in a settlement agreement.

Reconciliation rests on promises between the two of you. Decide together how your spouse will cut off contact with the affair partner, how to reduce contact if they work at the same place, and what you will do if a problem arises again.

Many promises between spouses are hard to enforce by law, but any part admitting the affair becomes evidence later. It's better to put it in writing rather than leave it as words.

You can write a separate pledge with your spouse, but excessive promises such as "If I cheat again, I'll hand over all my property" may not be recognized as valid. In the settlement with the affair partner, include the following.

• A ban on contact and meetings between the affair partner and your spouse, with a penalty for breach (위약벌)
• A confidentiality clause
• The affair partner's waiver of the right to reimbursement
• The period of infidelity this settlement covers

Jisan Law checks the stage of the lawsuit and compares for you whether continuing, mediation or withdrawal is better. We refine the mediation clauses and settlement wording so they can actually be used if it happens again. A managing partner consults with you personally, and we explain the fees after the consultation. If a hearing date has been set, contact us through the chat on this page before then.